Finding God in my Loneliness
With more people than ever living by themselves, as well as life expectancy increasing, loneliness is going to be an even more pressing issue in the days ahead. I decided to read this book not just because of the topic but because Lydia Brownback is a well-respected author of Christian women’s books – and the blurb of the book says ‘male or female…we’re all confronted with loneliness’. If you’re hoping for a more general take on loneliness however you will be disappointed – despite the blurb this book is squarely aimed at women, with the word ‘husband’ occurring over 40 times.
Of course, Brownback’s goal is that single women would see Jesus and not a husband as the answer to loneliness. And she certainly broadens out the topic of loneliness, including chapters such as ‘the loneliness of marriage’ and ‘the loneliness of being different’. In fact, at times it seemed that she was stretching out the definition of loneliness in order to reach a book of 150 pages, when it could have been said in much fewer. The publishers also drop a particular clanger with the statement on p. 133 that ‘No one can argue that good has come from the society-wide recognition that men and women have equal value’. One worries whether some of the proof readers thought the author meant to say that!
Some of the personal illustrations she uses also leave her open to ridicule – the top critical review on Amazon picks up on a paragraph where she extols the benefits of being able to make a rotisserie chicken last four nights if you’re single. Personally I found it hard to take seriously a chapter on grief which started with an illustration about the depth of pain she felt when losing a ‘precious pet’.
These frustrations aside, for a random person searching for a book on loneliness, at least this one gets to the gospel and approaches the loneliness problem the right way. As the same reviewer who now hates rotisserie chicken points out: ‘Most books tend to focus on fixing the problem, this book focuses more on fixing yourself’.
Ultimately I would be interested in hearing what people who struggle with loneliness think of the book. I’m sure I have felt lonely in my life, but if I have, I don’t remember it, so I’m really not the target audience. From my perspective, the book over-promises and under-delivers. I didn’t find it particularly insightful in thinking through our society’s loneliness epidemic – but it does get the basics right. ‘The primary reason we are lonely is that we aren’t home yet…Our loneliness points to the fact that something is missing’.
Thanks to Crossway for a complimentary copy of this book through their Beyond the Page review programme.