Renwick 9 Ministers 4

The inaugural Renwick v Ministers match / “Jonny McCollum Cup” resulted in a spectacular victory for the students. Renwick lined up with their expected XI, but a few late withdrawals from the ministers resulted in 2 more EPs being called up, along with Cream Bun. Fears that the match might be called off were unfounded as it turned out to by a dry and sunny (and freezing!) day. Renwick, in their new kit, didn’t waste much time in taking the lead, as the ministers tried to pass the ball across their defence rather than clear it, and following pressure from the Renwick strikers, AJ forced the ball home. Soon after it was 2-0 as Stevie McCollum hit a shot from 30 yards which went straight through Big Sam’s big hands. AJ then made it 3 before flicking the ball into the path of Phil who ran through from midfield to make it 4, in a move started by Jonathan Wallace. The most entertaining incident of the half came when we all watched Aggers come perilously close to death while climbing over a big high fence while wearing football boots to get the ball, and then walking back through the gap in the fence he’d discovered right beside where he’d climbed over. With 10 minutes left in the first half, AJ completed the first ever Renwick hattrick to make it 5-0. Mark had an effort from 2 yards blocked on the line. Just before the break the ministers finally got off the mark thanks to a goal from Philip Moffett.

At the start of the second half John Coates pulled another one back for the ministers, but soon Johnners had restored Renwick’s four-goal advantage with his fourth of the afternoon. Joel then went off to change his keeper kit for an outfield kit, and Jonny went in nets for the first time since our 2nd ever game. 4-goal Johnners then went off, but although the (smallest ever at a Renwick match) crowd were standing, he didn’t get much of an ovation. Sweeney scored for the ministers to make it 6-3. Jonny was forced into a great save to tip an effort from Coates (?) over the bar. At the other end Joel was crunched by Aggers in the box, but the imaginary referee waved play on. Joel got his first goal for Renwick, hitting the ball into an unguarded net after I took out Big Sam. Then, in a goalmouth scramble following a corner, Moffett had headed against his own post, narrowly avoiding a career-destroying own goal, and the ball broke to Simon who scored a tap-in. Aggers (after a Professorship?) delayed taking a goal kick to give us an impromtu Greek lesson as he wiped some scubilon off the ball. Scubilon is a word which describes the ministers’ performance apparently. With the match drawing to a close I still hadn’t scored, but had a chance when the ball broke loose in the box, but Moffett shouted “Don’t let Steelo score!” and Reverend Bun landed on top of me, and the baby-faced assassin (who had taken over in nets by this stage) was able to gather the ball. A few minutes later though I finally got a goal, when a low shot by Joel was blocked by Stephen Atkinson (you’ve got to give him his dues), and the ball spun up and I headed it past Coates to make it 9-3. The ministers managed to prevent Renwick reaching double figures, with Coates pulling off a tremendous save to turn an effort from Walker from 6 yards round the post, and a late goal from George made it 9-4. Rematch in May/June then?

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Grass, sky…it’s all there

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Emma won’t be seeing much Renwick action in Africa, unless Johnners can get us a friendly

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There was no messing from Aggers…bit of a limp wrist from Phil there

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Brothers-in-law

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Reverend Bun points young Renwick students towards the College

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:-)

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The old-timer also had a goal ruled out for handball

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:-0

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Check out those shorts!

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Coat�s takes a tumble

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Us

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Them

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Biblical Church Unity!

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Moffett’s dead…

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Davy was looking pretty ruth-less at the post-match press conference

RENWICK: Joel, Walker, Strob, Steve, Jonny, Phil, Mark, Conor, Simon, me (Piemonger), AJ (r: Steelo)

MINISTERS: Reverend McCollum, Reverend Ballentine, Reverend Agnew, Reverend Sweeney, Reverend Atkinson, Reverend Moffett, Reverend George, Reverend Sutherland, Reverend Bun, Reverend Coates, Reverend McEwen.

10 thoughts on “Renwick 9 Ministers 4

  1. ilbet the bibs were quite a handicap.. love the renwick kit. is it umbro or diadora? the txt smileys says all of piemonger expressions. hope for more sunny days less cloud.

  2. Good to see Conor paying homage to midfield maestro Xabi Alonso by wearing 14 on his back! Can’t be long til Conor scores from his own half now!!

  3. sounds like a thriller, wish id been there to see/play/ref. just out of interest, does the renwick team photo involve some camera jiggery-pokery, or were you all actually transfigured at that moment?

    for me the most impressive aspect of the whole event is Aggers’ Valderama hairdo – well done that man.

  4. Steelo

    Is it true that Strob has snatched the “Goal of the Season” award from your clutches before the “ink” was even dry on the report of last week’s game in which you had confidently awarded it to yourself?!!

    And why could I not leave this comment under the Comrades match post?

    And why have there been no new posts for a week now?

  5. Steelo seriously, how am I supposed to keep up with current affairs in Northern Ireland when I’m not receiving regular updates from SWS? Come on man!

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